


Should've Left Our Love in the Gutter

by sithmarauder



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 03:24:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6221668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sithmarauder/pseuds/sithmarauder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time on a small Outer Rim moon two naïve little boys sat by a river and made a solemn promise to each other.  Over twenty years later, as war and death rage around them, they meet again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Should've Left Our Love in the Gutter

**Author's Note:**

> This is all the fault of [helliskylux](http://helliskylux.tumblr.com/) on tumblr, who asked: "Like, what if Poe didn't know Ben is Kylo until he's defeated or executed." Then I cried all over the reply section and decided, two days later, to cross-post my tears here.
> 
> Title shamelessly ripped from Fall Out Boy's "The Mighty Fall".

When Kylo Ren goes down Poe Dameron has a front row seat, but he hardly has time to appreciate it as he watches the First Order sound the retreat with a savage sense of _victory_ howling in his mind.

The smell of combat is different on the ground than it is in the air, but it is still something Poe Dameron knows well.  He may be the best damn pilot in the Resistance, he may be more used to giving orders in the air and firing at his enemies encased in the gleaming shell of an X-wing, but he can fight at ground level too and, as his enemies find out, he is just as good a shot with a rifle in his hands as he is at the controls of _Black One_.

This battle, however, is different than any Poe has ever been in, bloody and visceral and _loud_ , and there’s so much death in the air he can’t _breathe_ and he thinks that a pilot was never truly meant for this kind of combat, for remaining trapped on the ground, even as he aims his blaster rifle and fires, watching his faceless enemies drop around him as he moves towards the still form of Snoke’s fallen apprentice.  The mask is dented, curved dangerously inward, and Poe thinks of his orders— _bring Ren in alive, if possible,_ spoken in the General’s soft-yet-hard voice, _I am trusting you with this, Poe_ —as he pushes forward, bleeding from a cut on his temple, to kneel at Ren’s side.

 _I should let you die_ , he thinks darkly, even as he hauls Ren’s body from the thick of battle, shooting a grateful glance at Finn for the cover fire, but he doesn’t.  He doesn’t let Ren die, he _won’t_ , because that isn’t his call, because if he kills this man here in cold blood then he’s no better than the First Order, and then what was the point of all this death?

They reach a cover point—and _oh_ , Poe thinks even as BB-8 peaks out from behind the smoking craft, he will miss _Black One_ —and Poe manages to get Ren’s body shielded from the blaster fire around them, ducking his head to avoid a stray shot deflected by Rey’s lightsaber.  She doesn’t apologise and he doesn’t expect her to, not when there are still so many stormtroopers in the area, and her fierce dedication leaves Poe free to survey the man lying at his feet.  He reaches forward with uncovered hands, knowing he has to get the mask off if only to ensure Ren still breathes, and finds the switch to unlock the dented helmet.

When he lifts it, everything around him seems to freeze.  Rey snarls in slow motion at the fleeing troopers and Finn’s mouth opens in a soundless whoop as the other Resistance fighters fire blaster shots that seem to take forever, but Poe doesn’t see any of it.  Doesn’t _hear_ any of it.

Once upon a time on a small Outer Rim moon two naïve little boys had sat by a river and made a solemn promise to each other.  Their hands clasped with the fierce devotion of youth they had sworn to always have each other’s backs, to protect one another, to face everything the galaxy had to throw at them side-by-side, back-to-back, just them against the world.

Now, as he looks upon Ren’s face, marred by a shallow scar and over twenty years older but still so achingly _familiar_ , he thinks of that promise again, even as he whirls around to fire at a stormtrooper who’d hoped to get the drop on them.  He thinks of those two little boys, so _foolish_ , and of the man one of those boys had become while the other had faded away like a ghost.  He thinks of monsters in the darkness and eyes cast so high to the stars that they’d forgotten to watch for the roots clawing at their feet, and finally Poe thinks that perhaps that one little boy hadn’t become a ghost after all but rather a shadow, a predator, twisted by darkness, forgotten and remade, even as he remembers shy kisses by a rusting old A-wing and promises that’d had no chance of being kept.

Then he takes one more look at Kylo Ren’s face and he thinks, _Ben_.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me (or request things) on [tumblr](http://deadhabsburgs.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
